“The Art of a Handshake” by Erika Veurink
— Soft Services newsletter
An essay on first impressions and connections.
The Art of a Handshake The Art of a Handshake Erika Veurink is a writer and consultant from Iowa based in Brooklyn. She publishes a weekly newsletter titled Long Live and is the founder of EV Salon—an invite-only in-person events series. Erika has been a Soft Services customer since 2021. Buffing Bar, Smoothing Solution, and Theraplush are staples in her routine. An essay by Erika Veurink An essay by Erika Veurink Meeting new people is hard.
First impressions can be the stuff of nightmares, but so is the joy of face-to-face interactions with fellow humans. It’s imperfect and sweaty and stomach-tightening and almost always at the end of it, we’re all glad we reached out our hand in the first place. There’s no secret to a successful first meeting, but the “reciprocal, nonverbal affirmation of non-hostility” (according to some anthropologists) that is a handshake is always a good place to start.
No need to demonstrate alpha tendencies with a power grip. Something firm, but curt will do just fine. Maintain eye contact. Two shakes is fine. Three can read a little car salesman-y. Soft hands are more memorable than the best manicure, in my opinion, so it’s important to establish a hand care routine to ensure your hands are prepped and ready for whatever meeting comes their way.
Before we get to the bare essentials of the person across from us, we get a feel for the kind of attention they pay to their hands. The ritual of applying a hand cream as the last thing I do for myself before bed grounds me, even on the nights before big events, and leaves my hands ready for any shakes that will come their way. Outside of a proper handshake and handcare routine, there are a few things you can do to make the interaction as smooth as possible.
Repeating someone’s name in the first few minutes of interaction helps you remember it and makes them feel seen. And smile, obviously. Who knows what might come from the connection? In certain fashion circles, a handshake might be replaced by a quick kiss on the cheek, but best practices still include the old fashioned art form.
When I started EV Salon, an invite-only, in-person event series that hinges on matching cool women with other cool women, I knew I was playing with fire dealing in the trade of real life interactions. Online, it’s easy to curate a public veneer of ourselves, one we can slip into for brief outings and BFA photos. But at EV Salon, every single one of us walks into the door, palms a little sweaty, ready to dabble in the gamble of meeting someone new with our hands outstretched.
When we reach out toward someone new, we’re opening ourselves up to the endless possibilities that make meeting people for the first time feel like some kind of magic. Because we’re all just one handshake away from our dream job, our new lifelong friend, even just someone to share the Uber back to Brooklyn with on a cold winter night. For handshake-ready hands year round, use Theraplush nightly. Available for preorder
Tags: Community, Theraplush — Original